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Caution - Moose Droppings Ahead
By Michael R Dougherty
Are those moose wearing earrings?
Women love all kinds of jewelry, and now days even men wear earrings and other jewelry bits -
Yes, but what does an Alaskan moose have to do with earrings?
When I lived in Alaska, I used to go out in the woods just to look around and enjoy nature and the incredible beauty of Alaska. And many times when I was in the woods I came upon evidence that a moose had been there.
Moose droppings. The kind a moose leaves behind when they "do their moose business" in the woods. Each dropping is in the shape of about an inch long capsule, and the moose leaves a bunch of them. All very neat and tidy - for that sort of thing.
Now when you live in Alaska and spend any time in the woods, you come across, and step over lots of moose droppings. And as you step over or around them you are keenly aware that you are but a visitor in their land. Other than that, you pay little attention to moose droppings - unless they were deposited very recently, in which case, you watch out for a moose near-by.
But somewhere along the way, an enterprising business minded person saw gold in those moose nuggets and came up with an idea that is at once very cleaver and a tad bit revolting at the same time. They saw earrings, necklaces and bracelets in that pile of moose droppings.
And it became a very good "moose business" -The process of making earrings and other jewelry
begins with collecting the moose deposits, drying out the stuff and then covering the capsules with some type of acrylic - you know, so that the jewelry is at once shiny and sanitary.
Tourists love moose poop earrings, because as souvenirs go, these earrings are unique and make for a very lively and fun conversation - even if you never wear them.
But imagine a lady who has just returned from her visit to Alaska, where she bought a pair of moose poop earrings. The lady is wearing them when a friend comes over for a cup of coffee.
Imagine this conversation
"Marge, where did you get those interesting earrings, are they new?"
"Well Betty, you remember the trip Harvey and I took to Alaska this summer? Well I got these while we were in Alaska."
"Marge, can I take a look at one of them up-close?"
Marge takes off one earring and hands it to Betty who begins looking at it very closely -
"Marge, this is fascinating, I've never seen anything like it before. What's it made of?"
"Betty, you're not going to believe this, but that earring is made out of moose droppings."
Betty is puzzled by what Marge just told her -
"Marge, what do you mean by "moose droppings?"
Betty looks more closely at the earring in her hand.
"Betty, these earrings are made from moose poop."
Betty's eyes get really big, then she quickly pitches the earring back to Marge.
"Marge, did you just say moose poop? These earrings are made out of moose poop?"
Marge laugh's at Betty's reaction
"Yes Betty, I said moose poop."
Betty thinks about it for a moment, then asks -
"Marge... where can I get a pair just like yours?"